Breaking Free: The Broken Hearts Club Read online

  “Yeah, what she said,” Elena said. “Stop being a pussy.”

  “Dude, don’t call her a pussy. Pussies are nice. We all have one and shouldn’t talk down about it. Tell her to stop being a testicle. Those are delicate and overly protected. Yeah, stop being a big ball, Luna.” Cambry obviously thought that she was being incredibly clever.

  “I can never tell if I hate you guys or love you guys.”

  “Oh, you know,” Waverly said with a wink.

  “Fine, I fucking love you guys. Did you hear me? I said fuck. I’ve been practicing.”

  “It still freaks me out a little,” Cambry admitted. “It’s like a nun swearing.”

  “Oh, and don’t wear your ugly undies because you think you won’t get laid. Because you’ll be embarrassed, and he won’t give a shit when he’s ripping them off you,” Elena said wisely.

  “Ugly undies, the dreaded double U. Never a good idea. Dress yourself from the inside out in things that make you feel confident. Go on the Tilt-a-Whirl, you get to touch by centrifugal force, it’s sexy.”

  “I’ll squish him!”

  Waverly shook her head. “Honey, he’ll love it.”

  “Fine, what do I wear?”

  The girls went over clothing choices and decided on something that would hold up well at a fair and the massive amount of dirt that went with it and gave her a few last minute pointers.

  Only Luna’s friends could Skype for two hours and make the time fly by.

  The next morning she packed a bag with the outfit they had chosen, because there was no way she was wearing clothes that smelled like burnt hair and product on a date.

  During the day, Luna tried to keep her focus, chatting with her clients, not looking off into the distance worrying about her date. At the last minute, she had packed her meds in the bottom of the bag with her clothes. It had been weeks since she had taken them, but just having the bottle was a kind of security blanket.

  Whenever she wanted to reach for them, she took a deep breath and counted very slowly to ten. Then she reassessed whether she needed to take them or if could she breathe and count again. She spent a long time breathing and counting these days. Every pill she didn’t take was a small victory. Luna understood that for some people, having them was the only way to get through a day. For her, it was about getting her old self back, so she was using them as a tool more than anything.

  Luna thought about the pills at the bottom of the bag again. She didn’t want to be fuzzy for her date, and the meds made her feel calmly distant. This was her first date in years and she wanted to be fully involved so she wouldn’t make a jackass of herself.

  Then again, they were going to a fair and that was fraught with potential hazards.

  “How are you wearing your hair?” Alton had snuck up behind her and was moving her hair around as she had zoned out at her station after her last client.

  “Um, down?”

  “Did you not see that poor girl that got her hair stuck in a carnival ride recently? No ma’am, you are not ending up on the news. I’m thinking high double pony, teased.”

  “You were thinking about how I should wear my hair on my date? My ex-husband shouldn’t have an opinion on that topic.”

  “Your bestest friend in the whole wide world has an opinion. And tell me I’m wrong.”

  It was true, he was her best friend. They had been together too long to deny their connection, or their place in each other’s lives.

  “Fine, ponytail. But I need a poof on top. Something for height.”

  “What are you wearing?”

  “Clothes.”

  “Har-har, seriously.”

  “Capri jeans, the cut off ones rolled up. My Rolling Stones t-shirt and my wedge high tops to make me taller, but are still comfy.”

  “No jacket? You might need a jacket.”

  “Gee, thanks, dad. I have my jean jacket, the crop one. Anything else?”

  “No, I think that will do. Let me know when you want makeup and we’ll get you dolled up.”

  “Nothing over the top. I’m going to the fair, not performing on the main stage at the fair.”

  “Fine, no glitter. You spoil all my fun,” he said turning in a fake huff.

  Luna wasn’t about to show up looking like a peacock. She was nervous enough and had already skipped her lunch because she was feeling queasy.

  She had two more appointments for the day, and then she had scheduled an hour and half to get ready. That would be time to dress, do her hair and makeup and then have a major freak out before he arrived.

  Chapter 8

  Ford was sitting in his car watching the clock on the dash. He didn’t want to be too early and didn’t want to be late. He had told some of his buddies at the station about his date and they gave him an equal amount of ribbing and encouragement.

  The men and women at the firehouse were like family. Not that Ford’s large family wasn’t constantly involved in his life, but he was lucky in that he had multiple families to draw strength and support from. The only thing he was missing was a partner. He wanted someone to come home to. He worked odd hours and knowing that there was someone to check in with, discuss dinner with, and all the other minutia of daily life sounded infinitely comforting.

  His level of concern about Luna’s history had dissolved as soon as he saw her. Now he felt like he was on a mission. There were twenty stories ahead of him and he was carrying a hundred pounds of gear. The good thing was that he knew what kind of fortitude he had, and took the challenges head on. There was also a part of him that wanted to take care of this broken bird. For all of her outward glamour and confidence, her feathers had been damaged, and she was afraid to fly again. Ford was going to make sure that she knew that even if it wasn’t because of him, although he planned to exert every effort to make sure it was because of him, that she was going to come out okay in the end.

  Grabbing the vase of flowers from the passenger seat, he stepped out into the sunshine.

  The moment he opened the door of the salon, he was greeted with a huge smile from the receptionist. Larissa, he thought her name was. She was practically bouncing in her seat, she must have been expecting him.

  “I’ll tell her you’re here. Oh, you brought flowers! You, handsome devil, you.”

  He gave her a smile and a wink that made the woman giggle. Ford didn’t flirt intentionally, he just liked women and he loved to make them smile or laugh. It was like watching a sunrise or seeing an amazing rainbow. Women were nature’s gift to men that surely didn’t deserve them.

  Alton came around the corner and Ford held out his hand. “Alton.”

  “Ford. If I didn’t like you so much I’d give you the ‘hurt her and I’ll kill you speech.’”

  “I appreciate that, but I’d understand if you did. She seems pretty amazing. I thought she might have liked me a little yesterday.”

  “Well, she liked the look of you, that’s for sure. She only blushes like that when she thinks someone’s good-looking.” Alton dropped his voice. “I shouldn’t interfere, but I love her to death and I just want her to be happy. If she’s not your type, just let her down easy. Luna’s in a good place and I don’t want to have to start over. I hurt her a lot and I take responsibility for that. For her sake, I’m now her guardian angel against the big bad world.”

  Ford could respect this man that was in a very difficult position. “I have no intention of hurting her. I like her. I hope that I can get to know her better. I’m looking for something more than a casual date.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I love her with all my heart, but not the way she deserves. I want her to be happy. She doesn’t see that she isn’t happy, it’s one of her few faults. I’m not saying she’s not strong. She is, she just doesn’t think that she’s the type of woman any man would want. That’s most definitely, partly, but still mostly my fault. Everyone else can tell her all day long that she’s come through a lot. It doesn’t mean she’s going to believe any of it,” Alton said.
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br />   “I appreciate the tips. I think I’m going to just have a good time tonight and I’ll make sure that Luna has fun.”

  “Do that, she could use some fun.”

  Ford shook his hand again and then looked up to see Luna coming around the corner. She looked amazing. Her outfit was hugging her curves and he could finally see what her apron had been hiding. She was dressed casual, but still completely put together. It was something Ford loved about women. They could act as though they had thrown something on, but he knew that everything had been chosen with care. The wedges she was wearing brought her up almost to his shoulder, but she still had to tilt her head back to look at him. There was a nervous smile on her face and he thought it made her look exquisite.

  “Luna,” he said and watched the blush spread over her cheeks.

  “Hey,” she said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear even though it was already perfectly in place.

  “Ready to have some fun?”

  “I am. Alton wasn’t giving you some speech about taking me out and not hurting my feelings or anything.”

  “No, he was just telling me that he liked my jeans.”

  “That’s believable, but I don’t believe you.”

  Alton walked past her and squeezed her arm. “Have fun.”

  “Thanks, I will.” She sounded confident but there was an air of unease about her.

  Ford could handle unease, that meant she was nervous but still had the guts to show up. That was a start.

  “You look amazing,” he said, eyeing her up and down.

  “Thanks, I wasn’t sure what to wear.”

  “Well, I have a feeling we are going to smell like sugar and carnies later.”

  “Oh, pleasant. Just so you know, I don’t do rides that flip upside down. It’s unnatural and messes with my hair.”

  “Understood. Besides I can think of a lot better ways to mess up your hair.”

  With that, he grabbed her hand and waved to the receptionist. He knew that she was behind him with her mouth open in shock and he decided he liked that look on her too.

  Maybe if he kept her a little off guard she wouldn’t get so hung up on what was in her head and could relax a little.

  “Mind if I drive?”

  “No, that’s fine. You’re a good driver aren’t you?”

  “No tickets and I’ve been known to drive the fire truck around for fun.”

  “Is that true?”

  “No, not really. There are so many jobs at the firehouse that very few people can do everything. I do know how to use the fire truck. There are lots of fun levers and buttons.”

  “Oh, levers and buttons. I can see why you got into the business,” she joked.

  “Actually, I love the adrenaline. I was eighteen when I started volunteering. I thought it would be all action. Fires and car accidents. Turns out, we have a lot of down time and that’s a good thing. Down time means no one is dying and property isn’t being destroyed. I started working out so I could do my job better and kill some time.”

  Ford helped Luna inside the car and shut the door behind her. As he walked to the driver’s side, he glanced through the front windshield and saw a very nervous looking Luna watching him. He smiled at her and watched her blush and drop her gaze. He made it around to the driver’s side and got in.

  “Did you always want to be a firefighter?”

  Clearly, she wanted to fill the space with conversation, that’s what you did on first dates as to avoid any awkward lulls. Ford was fine with that, he wanted her to know all about him, and he really wanted to get to know her better.

  “I did. My dad and uncle were firefighters and it was what I was surrounded by. You could say that it’s in my blood.”

  “I think it’s very brave. I can’t imagine running into a burning building.”

  “I’ve only had a few opportunities to do that. We spend a lot of time responding to road accidents. And then the rest of the time responding to non-emergencies.”

  They had started to drive and he was taking in her body language. She was sitting with her knees pressed together and her hands in her lap.

  “Non-emergencies?”

  “Frequent fliers and situations that really don’t need us. It’s a lot of standing around and waiting. It’s the less glamorous part of our job.”

  “Compared to what I do it sounds pretty glamorous.”

  “I don’t know; you make people feel good. I bet people look forward to seeing you. They use that time to get away from their lives and you make sure they look amazing when they leave. I deal with bodily fluids and sometimes death. Your job is important. I can’t imagine anyone wants to see me coming.”

  Luna held back the hysterical giggle that popped up. She was sure some of his calls were just so he and his potentially hot coworkers might show up. “I’ll let you keep thinking that.”

  “Hey, we all have our parts to play. I wouldn’t begrudge the person that makes my food or that mows the lawns in intersections. Everybody has a role.”

  “So, enough about how vital my job is. Do you have any siblings?”

  “I do. I have three brothers and two sisters.”

  “Six children?” she said in horror.

  “Yes and I’m the middle child. Well, me and my sister, we share the title. Big Irish family. Loud, lots of food, and lots of meddling.”

  “A set of twins too! Sounds nice. I just have my sister and my dad. My mom passed away when I was thirteen. I had to step up for my little sister. My dad and I were a team.”

  “Sorry about your mom. That’s a lot of responsibility for a young girl.”

  “It was, but you don’t always get to choose your life. It sort of happens to you.”

  Ford didn’t believe that at all, but it said a lot about how Luna viewed the world.

  “Maybe it does. Sometimes though, it’s all good that happens.”

  Chapter 9

  Luna was having that surreal feeling as though she was viewing the world from the outside. She was riding in Ford’s car and he was telling her about his life. She told him about her mom without thinking. Normally this was something she kept to herself. People always got that sad uncomfortable look in their eyes when they imagined a young teen girl losing her mother and having to look after for her younger sibling.

  It wasn’t that bad. Her sister, Astrid, was two years younger so they were both old enough to manage themselves for the most part. Her dad kept their world as simple as he could. He worked and managed to do fun things with them when he was off. Her childhood wasn’t always bad. They were like any other family, but her mom’s illness had been quick and her death had left them shocked.

  But they recovered. Then she met Al. Her life was moving on then. She got married and they had made a life together.

  But that was all gone now, and she didn’t have much at all.

  Now her simple world was looking like there were options in the future. Paths her road could take, and she didn’t know which way to turn. One might have a hunky firefighter option. The other, well it was unknown, and oddly enough, she wasn’t in the mood for the unknown.

  “I bet your family is really proud of you,” she said. Talking about his family was a much safer topic. Less chance of her getting nervous.

  “They are. My parents are proud of all their children. I’ve got siblings that are police officers, stay-at-home parents, construction workers, managers. They told us we could be anything we wanted as long as we were happy.”

  “Must be nice. I bet holidays are fun.”

  “They are chaotic. I have three nephews and five nieces. It’s loud, but it’s wonderful.”

  Luna couldn’t imagine what it was like to have such a noisy house. Her father’s home was sedate. There weren’t big parties after her mom was gone. Quiet birthdays, simple Christmases. It was all very tolerable.

  “I bet. Although I have to say, Toby and Alton threw a huge party last year. It was a little more than I was used to.”

  “How
so?”

  “Everything was very shiny. And it all matched. Like really matched. And Christmas dinner was catered. It was very nice, but a little too formal for my liking, but it was fun to do something different.”

  They chatted easily as they drove, and then parked in a large lot that flanked the fair grounds. As they got out of the car there was a warm breeze filled with sugar and the smell of farm animals.

  “So what should we do first? Animals? Rides? Games?”

  “Oh, let’s see if they have any baby animals!”

  Ford chuckled. “Like the animals do you?”

  “I do. Especially the baby pigs and ducklings. I was thinking of getting a fish. Something I won’t feel guilty about leaving at home.”

  “I’ll see if I can win you a goldfish or two.”

  “Those are really expensive fish. You know buying them is cheaper than what you spend on those games. You know they’re rigged, you’ve said it yourself!”

  “It’s still more fun to win them.”

  “Fine, but let’s do it last so we aren’t walking around all night with little fish suffocating in a bag.”

  “I know CPR so we’ll be okay.”

  He reached for her hand and she let hers slip into his. It was a little forward for a first date. She knew that much, but it felt comforting and her mind tripped into a strange mode that she’d never felt before. It was safe and protected. Just Ford’s presence beside her felt like a shield.

  There wasn’t a time she could think back to that felt this way. Ford was weaving through crowds of people, blocking her against those that might be in the way. She knew that if she stayed beside him that, she was in a safe space. The thought almost made her laugh aloud. Maybe she was just desperately searching for something that made her think this way. Luna was anxious and nervous generally, but being afraid was a different emotion entirely. While she was inside the ‘Ford bubble,’ there was no fear. He was big and strong and was used to facing terrible things and coming out the other side. He was a proverbial knight in shining armor.